The worst part about writing anything is the start. You have all the ideas swirling around in your head and your fingers are primed and ready to lay a beatdown on your keyboard and type out a work of art (or semi regular blog with ideas above its station). You expect that any second now your computer will be set in flame from the level of friction created by your artistically motivated fingers. But you're not, you're sitting there in front of a blank page trying to think of a fancy way of saying "Once upon a time."
In more recent of times i've thought of life as just a collection lifts that you get on and off (both metaphorical and literal), but that's not right is it?
It's a collection of things that piss you off. (Insert heavy rock music and screeching guitars here)
I mean right from the start i was annoyed that i couldn't find a way to start this blog, you the reader might be annoyed that i half assed the intro with a spiel about how i have trouble starting blogs.
By the end of the blog you may be annoyed by this blog being merely an excuse to write about things that annoyed me recently.
So lets get started shall we. (Don't worry i've shortlisted to 2 annoyances to make this as painless as possible)
Annoyance 1: The visa pay-wave advert
So let me set the scene, you're sitting in the cinema, popcorn on your lap, waiting with baited breath what hollywood has decided to do with the latest work of fiction they've decided to adapt (note: I know hollywood isn't a sentient being and the movie industry is composed of a number of directors, writers and producers in and out of California) and you're sitting through the pre show 'entertainment'.
I'll be honest with you, cynicism aside i actually enjoy the pre show. I like watching trailers, it lets me know what book, graphic novel or popular tv series from the 1980s is being adapted next. As for the ads most of the time i don't find them particularly worthy of my scorn and hatred.
Except one, the visa pay-wave ad. (Feel my wraith)
Basically this ad is set in the weirdest food court that i have ever seen. It is a place that is supposed to evoke post modern 'trendiness' as young professionals sit at round tables eating sushi and drinking coffee. Some young professionals are sitting at their tables and some are in the queue, which is the longest line i have ever seen, it's a neverending line of young professionals, trendy young professionals who all have a latest visa 'innovation'.
This particular inov... i can't even say it, we'll just call it the I word from now on (the I's capitalised, are you happy now?). This particular 'I word' is called the visa pay-wave card. This card has a special chip that when you bring it up to a special visa box it beeps and instead of paying out of your own money $60 gets added to your credit card bill.
Which is fine, if you're a credit card user, in fact security concerns aside this seems pretty convenient if you're on the go.
This is what this ad seeks to portay, in a creepy way.
See remember when i said this was the weirdest food court i have ever seen. It is also the creepiest food court i have ever seen.
Now to signify efficiency everything that happens in the ad happens in time and rythym, the cards of the young professionals in the queue are beeping in a metronome, on the tables you hear synchronised slurping while people click their chopsticks and clank their cups of coffee in time with the metronome created by the endling queue of beeping cards.
It's quite simple. All of the young professionals are robots, they're robots! That is the explanation for the way they act! That or the cards aren't the only thing that have had a chip inserted into them. (It would be funny if this ad turned out to be a science fiction genius down on his luck and writing credit card ads)
But mocking aside the display of convenience and efficiency isn't a bad idea to get behind. But like i said only for someone with a visa card.
Because not all the young professionals have a visa plus cards, not all the young professionals are trendy and have the latest visa plus card.
One guy, a regular bloke, has the gall to pay in cash and to escalate things further, he pays with a $50 note.
As if the audience is all supposed to shout "what a wanker!" (synchronised of course, now that would be creepy)
That's essentially what happens in the ad, everything stops dead and everyone looks up in silence at this simple act of using another form of payment for a transaction, as if to say "look at the one who is not one of us." Even the cashier gets in on the act when she gives him a look as she gives him the change (which I hasten to add took less than 10 seconds), the kind of look you'd give to someone if he wore a shirt that had 'Eva Braun had it coming and Hitler is cuter than kittens.' written on it.
As if to say that credit cards are so efficient that there isn't any point in cash, as if there's no reason not to use a credit cards, which is not accurate in the slightest.
Is this horribly offensive? No, it's trivial at best and most likely i'm overthinking things. However my day can be ruined by seeing this advert.
Annoyance 2: "Based on a true story"
So if you couldn't tell from my last entry, i am not religious, or spiritual, or superstitious. This is not to say that others can't be, it's not skin off my nose what you chose to believe. However beliefs are subjective and while one person believes some things did or did not happen another may not.
Which is why it annoys me when movies of a supernatural nature tell us they were based on a true story.
No, just no. No it wasn't these things didn't happen and you're just trying to make the movie scarier to people who believe in the supernatural.
Which is mean, it's as mean as the medium that tell berieved people that they are speaking to their dead relatives for a palm full of silver.
The idea is that because it's 'based on a true story.' then it's within the realms of possibility that it could happen to you. It's the same of being scared of a bully because he stole someone elses lunch money.
The only way these things are based on a true story is if a crazy woman and a bunch of her crazy friends and a crazy priest thought that the crazy woman had a demon inside of her, or a crazy woman thinks that a creepy dead child is walking around in her house.
The latest trailer i saw with this was for 'The Conjuring', and while the name alone gave me the impression that this movie wasn't going to be particularly good the trailer was decent, a couple of the jump scares caught me by suprise and though i'm not really into that kind of movie it might be a decent watch. Until that phrase came up and totally ruined my impression of the movie.
Y'know what, i actually feel a little better now, like the annoyance of these things have floated away like vapour through a vent. I feel so good i might go look at some youtube comments, ooh a cheerios advert, i'm sure nothing offensive could be said about a cheerios advert.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Friday, June 21, 2013
Superstition
Unbeknownst to you dear readers (i know you're there somewhere), it has come to my attention that i have reached my 666th page view, which while as victories go is relatively minor is a victory none the less. However i am not writing to gloat about my new found success, no, i just found the novelty of reaching this specific number intruiging, and if i was a superstitious i might consider it a bad omen. (i attribute my success to my superior segway skills)
Y'see i'm not superstitious in the slightest, i'm not spiritual, i don't believe in karma and Psychic Tv can go to hell. I am well and truely a skeptic, that said, however skeptical i claim i am, then why to i think that my things are out to get me, so as i write this here in my padded cell, with padded keys because of the incident with the Caps Lock key..........
Of course i jest (it was the space bar), i say this not out of madness but frustration, as much as we may not like to admit it there are things that we can't control. So while it's logical to assume that my phone doesn't have a brain, my internet isn't controlled by skynet and coffee tables weren't sent by satan out of a whimsical hatred of shin bones, it doesn't take away the fact that it has frustrated us, and when we are frustrated we need something or someone to shout at.
When you were younger did you ever hit your head on something (don't lie), i did, and out of anger do you know what i did? I hit back, even as young as i was i realised that this was fruitless and beds from Ikea don't feel pain (although they were actually invented by satan) i still needed to lash out and return the pain that i had just experienced.
Now i'm not saying everyone's still a little more childish than they think they are but.........
Y'see i'm not superstitious in the slightest, i'm not spiritual, i don't believe in karma and Psychic Tv can go to hell. I am well and truely a skeptic, that said, however skeptical i claim i am, then why to i think that my things are out to get me, so as i write this here in my padded cell, with padded keys because of the incident with the Caps Lock key..........
Of course i jest (it was the space bar), i say this not out of madness but frustration, as much as we may not like to admit it there are things that we can't control. So while it's logical to assume that my phone doesn't have a brain, my internet isn't controlled by skynet and coffee tables weren't sent by satan out of a whimsical hatred of shin bones, it doesn't take away the fact that it has frustrated us, and when we are frustrated we need something or someone to shout at.
When you were younger did you ever hit your head on something (don't lie), i did, and out of anger do you know what i did? I hit back, even as young as i was i realised that this was fruitless and beds from Ikea don't feel pain (although they were actually invented by satan) i still needed to lash out and return the pain that i had just experienced.
Now i'm not saying everyone's still a little more childish than they think they are but.........
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Stranger Danger
In the appartment building where i live i have a problem with one of the lifts. Firstly i'll contextualise, this lift, like every other lift in the universe has two sets of buttons, one set on either side, however on one side of this lift the button for my floor doesn't work. Now this isn't a complaint, this is a trivial problem which can easily be solved by using the button on the other side. However things get interesting when there are other people using the lift as they don't know that only one side works.
I think i'm paranoid somewhat, though while it's quite reasonable for me to go for the button to the one side, that's not always the first available option and i worry that it looks weird for me to go for the button that isn't available. So sometimes i do a little acting, i play ignorant, i pretend i don't know that only one button works, look shocked when it doesn't and press the button on the other side.
Why? Because in my mind it's better than simply telling someone "the button for my floor doesn't work." It's the same as when you find yourself in an embarrassing situation and you find you are compelled to yell to onlookers "this isn't what it looks like!" (mind, gutter, out) or "this doesn't usually happen to me!" But you don't you stand there and submissively go on with your business in front of onlookers (maybe you frown, tut or shake your head, so people know you're not happy about the situation)
So what conclusions have i drawn from this? Well firstly that we all care, however small an action or situation is we all care what people think, and secondly despite the leaps and bounds we have made in improving communication, and while by nature we may be social animals, we would rather the odd person misinterpreting a situation than having to talk to a complete stranger. (and i for one blame television)
I think i'm paranoid somewhat, though while it's quite reasonable for me to go for the button to the one side, that's not always the first available option and i worry that it looks weird for me to go for the button that isn't available. So sometimes i do a little acting, i play ignorant, i pretend i don't know that only one button works, look shocked when it doesn't and press the button on the other side.
Why? Because in my mind it's better than simply telling someone "the button for my floor doesn't work." It's the same as when you find yourself in an embarrassing situation and you find you are compelled to yell to onlookers "this isn't what it looks like!" (mind, gutter, out) or "this doesn't usually happen to me!" But you don't you stand there and submissively go on with your business in front of onlookers (maybe you frown, tut or shake your head, so people know you're not happy about the situation)
So what conclusions have i drawn from this? Well firstly that we all care, however small an action or situation is we all care what people think, and secondly despite the leaps and bounds we have made in improving communication, and while by nature we may be social animals, we would rather the odd person misinterpreting a situation than having to talk to a complete stranger. (and i for one blame television)
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Cool
I have decided that i will determine my own threshold of when i have become old and unhip, a point of no return if you will. At this point i will deem myself uncool. This will present me with two options a) reject social norms and regard them as the decadent new generation's new fangled fads which aren't as good as the things from my day or, b) delude myself into thinking i've 'still got it' and overcompensate to an embarressing degree.
This threshold i've decided on is simply "when the new norms, fads and culture confuse me so much, i have to stop and have a cup of tea."
However this has presented me with several problems. Firstly i was never particulary hip and cool to begin with (i think that notion went out the window when at the ripe age of 23 i decided to start wearing sweater vests to the pub). Secondly i am already confused by new norms, fads and culture, what the hell is YOLO!?! Seriously! Also a cup of earl grey english breakfast would be great as i'm starting to get a headache.
One thing that has me particulary confused is when people use the number 2 instead of spelling out to or too. It's 2 or 3 letters! Is there really a considerable enough time or space saved when you use 1 or 2 letters less. I mean it's understandable when it's in marketing, it saves money on letters in advert materials. But saving a millisecond when you're telling your mate where to go really can't be that vital.
Now i wouldn't consider myself a grammar nazi, i mean i joke around, but you just need to look and the spelling and structure of this blog to see example of spelling mistakes and bad grammar (that cookie is still in the fridge by the way). But it's not the fact that it's not conforming to time honoured rules of english that have made it possible to people to understand each other for centuries (it's not like that's important or anything). It is merely confusion that any benefit is derived from the time saved typing one or two letters less. I mean i know time is our most important resource (until the next war in the middle east anyway) but this is a little silly. (man i could use a cup of tea)
The moral of the story is.... um, be yourself? As Ke$ha the wisest of public folk says, We r who we r.
P.S Eat your heart out Aesop!
This threshold i've decided on is simply "when the new norms, fads and culture confuse me so much, i have to stop and have a cup of tea."
However this has presented me with several problems. Firstly i was never particulary hip and cool to begin with (i think that notion went out the window when at the ripe age of 23 i decided to start wearing sweater vests to the pub). Secondly i am already confused by new norms, fads and culture, what the hell is YOLO!?! Seriously! Also a cup of earl grey english breakfast would be great as i'm starting to get a headache.
One thing that has me particulary confused is when people use the number 2 instead of spelling out to or too. It's 2 or 3 letters! Is there really a considerable enough time or space saved when you use 1 or 2 letters less. I mean it's understandable when it's in marketing, it saves money on letters in advert materials. But saving a millisecond when you're telling your mate where to go really can't be that vital.
Now i wouldn't consider myself a grammar nazi, i mean i joke around, but you just need to look and the spelling and structure of this blog to see example of spelling mistakes and bad grammar (that cookie is still in the fridge by the way). But it's not the fact that it's not conforming to time honoured rules of english that have made it possible to people to understand each other for centuries (it's not like that's important or anything). It is merely confusion that any benefit is derived from the time saved typing one or two letters less. I mean i know time is our most important resource (until the next war in the middle east anyway) but this is a little silly. (man i could use a cup of tea)
The moral of the story is.... um, be yourself? As Ke$ha the wisest of public folk says, We r who we r.
P.S Eat your heart out Aesop!
Friday, May 10, 2013
Playing devils advocate
So today i'm going to embrace my inner pretentious git and class this blog up a bit with something considerably more high brow than killing cats and my opinions on the entertainment industry (and self depricating comments inserted within brackets). I'm going to talk about someone who may or may not existed, a man named Socrates, a man who was killed for pissing off the wrong people, by playing a game i like to call devils advocate.
I'll set the scene, this is the end of the golden age of Athens, this noble city has been beseiged and thoroughly defeated by the Spartans, and the athenians are looking for a scapegoat. Meanwhile Socrates in his infinite wisdom has been creating a new tradition, critisizing the state in the time of war. Now athenians, being a traditional, family values, heavily religious society obviously took umbrage to this and were pissed off.. Not only were they pissed off about this toga wearing upstart asking the wrong questions but they were also annoyed about his blasphemy. Socrates claimed he was on a mission from God. (He should be played by Dan Aykroyd if they make a movie about him.)
But i don't think it was a mission from God, i think he was just bored.
I think he was just bored of thoughless acceptance, because thoughtless acceptance is boring (and starts wars and removes civil liberties), and how did he alleviate his boredom? By playing devils advocate (or using the socratic method or whatever).
How do you play? I hear you ask, well it's very simple, first you have to see or hear a statement, do you have an opinion? Does it agree with the statement you just heard? Then throw it straight out because no one likes a circle jerk! Finally (and this is the hard part) you present a contrary view.
This is win/win, if you agree with the statement then it makes you seem more fair and balanced (and makes you feel cunning like a fox) and can even strengthen the statement you agree with. If you disagree then you get the fun of a heated arguement.
Just try not to end up with a black eye (or a stomach full of hemlock).
Also Devils Advocate home edition will be available for $19.99, call now and you geta free toga.
I'll set the scene, this is the end of the golden age of Athens, this noble city has been beseiged and thoroughly defeated by the Spartans, and the athenians are looking for a scapegoat. Meanwhile Socrates in his infinite wisdom has been creating a new tradition, critisizing the state in the time of war. Now athenians, being a traditional, family values, heavily religious society obviously took umbrage to this and were pissed off.. Not only were they pissed off about this toga wearing upstart asking the wrong questions but they were also annoyed about his blasphemy. Socrates claimed he was on a mission from God. (He should be played by Dan Aykroyd if they make a movie about him.)
But i don't think it was a mission from God, i think he was just bored.
I think he was just bored of thoughless acceptance, because thoughtless acceptance is boring (and starts wars and removes civil liberties), and how did he alleviate his boredom? By playing devils advocate (or using the socratic method or whatever).
How do you play? I hear you ask, well it's very simple, first you have to see or hear a statement, do you have an opinion? Does it agree with the statement you just heard? Then throw it straight out because no one likes a circle jerk! Finally (and this is the hard part) you present a contrary view.
This is win/win, if you agree with the statement then it makes you seem more fair and balanced (and makes you feel cunning like a fox) and can even strengthen the statement you agree with. If you disagree then you get the fun of a heated arguement.
Just try not to end up with a black eye (or a stomach full of hemlock).
Also Devils Advocate home edition will be available for $19.99, call now and you geta free toga.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Sayings
There are certain things that people say that seem to be accepted as some kind of universal wisdom. Things said so often that no one really sits down and thinks about what they really mean or what could be implied by these so called "truths".
For example take "curiosity killed the cat." On the surface it's simple, cat sees dangerous thing (e.g meat grinder), cat doesn't know what dangerous thing is, cat investigates dangerous thing, cat becomes puddle on the floor (i'm not a cat person).
However what's implied here is that all curiousity is bad, that maybe 500 years ago Magellan should have been told to step away from his boats, you never know what lurks in the sea, or maybe that Alexander Fleming should put down his test tubes.
Now you might say to me "hey, you're using the saying incorrectly, it's only meant to be said about things that look dangerous." Now i don't mean to be pedantic (well only a little bit), but the saying doesn't say being curious about dangerous things killed the cat, which leaves the assumption that ANY curiosity can kill a cat.
Now i'm thinking about it, is it just me or do people who say "curiosity killed the cat." up to something. like they know something that you don't, like if something 'happened' to go wrong they would have the advantage of plausable deniability if they were called out on it, but paranoia aside.......
Now we've all heard the saying "you have to break a few eggs to make an omelette." Now wouldn't it be convenient if all we had to do to create innovation was to kill a few cats?
For example take "curiosity killed the cat." On the surface it's simple, cat sees dangerous thing (e.g meat grinder), cat doesn't know what dangerous thing is, cat investigates dangerous thing, cat becomes puddle on the floor (i'm not a cat person).
However what's implied here is that all curiousity is bad, that maybe 500 years ago Magellan should have been told to step away from his boats, you never know what lurks in the sea, or maybe that Alexander Fleming should put down his test tubes.
Now you might say to me "hey, you're using the saying incorrectly, it's only meant to be said about things that look dangerous." Now i don't mean to be pedantic (well only a little bit), but the saying doesn't say being curious about dangerous things killed the cat, which leaves the assumption that ANY curiosity can kill a cat.
Now i'm thinking about it, is it just me or do people who say "curiosity killed the cat." up to something. like they know something that you don't, like if something 'happened' to go wrong they would have the advantage of plausable deniability if they were called out on it, but paranoia aside.......
Now we've all heard the saying "you have to break a few eggs to make an omelette." Now wouldn't it be convenient if all we had to do to create innovation was to kill a few cats?
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Sunday
What word do you think of when you think of sunday? There are the regular cliches, 'lazy' (if you're an average joe), 'holy' (if you're religious) or bloody (if you're U2, an Irish republican or Alan Partridge). But i had a different thought as i found myself awaken at 1pm on Sunday. Sunday is an afterthought, pure and simple that is the best way to describe it.
You may wonder what i mean by that and naturally it's as shallow as it sounds. Sunday is a day to be missed, it's the day you sleep through a hangover or take a stroll through the park and smell the roses.
But it's not as bad as it sounds, i mean as bad as suggesting the positives of wasting a day could be perceived, but this is entirely necessary. This is a day worth of downtime, no real social or work related obligations (though one can socialise if one so chooses). In this fast paced world who can say no to Sundays charms?
So i raise a glass to poor forgotten Sunday, the unsung hero that keeps us all from going insane, a day that has the misfortune of being followed by Monday. Next time i awake in the aftermath of a (subjectively) well spent saturday, i may whisper a thank you to Sunday.
You may wonder what i mean by that and naturally it's as shallow as it sounds. Sunday is a day to be missed, it's the day you sleep through a hangover or take a stroll through the park and smell the roses.
But it's not as bad as it sounds, i mean as bad as suggesting the positives of wasting a day could be perceived, but this is entirely necessary. This is a day worth of downtime, no real social or work related obligations (though one can socialise if one so chooses). In this fast paced world who can say no to Sundays charms?
So i raise a glass to poor forgotten Sunday, the unsung hero that keeps us all from going insane, a day that has the misfortune of being followed by Monday. Next time i awake in the aftermath of a (subjectively) well spent saturday, i may whisper a thank you to Sunday.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
The everyman
So if you asked me who my favourite member of The Beatles was you would be suprised to know the answer is longer than you think. It shows i distinct different between who "the best" is and which beatles i form a connection with. That in itself is 2 seperate questions.
The question of who is the best is obvious, Paul Mccartney. He is the best one objectively, best musician, best singer and questionably best song writer. But which Beatle resonates with me?
The long and short of it is that my favourite beatle isn't really all that important, it's what it says about my character. Who i consider the everyman.
In fiction the everyman is there to give the audience someone to relate to, most likely an observer, acting as an audience surrogate (that's probably the best way to figure out the target audience of a film).
I'm a believer that the best things come in 4, sometimes instead of giving us an everyman as an audience surrogate we are given 4 to choose from, a sort of "pin the everyman on the character." Four manufactured personalites creating a net, as if audience members were fish to be caught. A large enough range so a larger chunk of people identify with at least one person in the piece of work.
Lets take Seinfeld as an example, you have Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine. Jerry for the egotistical, George for the self loathing, Kramer for the eccentric and Elaine for the nuerotic.
So who is my favourite beatle? It's probably George, as a lover of the obscure.How could i not admire the talented introvert in the shadows. The world loves an underdog and i'm no different. Although that might change later as i can be quite fickle.
Also Pin The Everyman On The Character is available at stores for $19.99.........
The question of who is the best is obvious, Paul Mccartney. He is the best one objectively, best musician, best singer and questionably best song writer. But which Beatle resonates with me?
The long and short of it is that my favourite beatle isn't really all that important, it's what it says about my character. Who i consider the everyman.
In fiction the everyman is there to give the audience someone to relate to, most likely an observer, acting as an audience surrogate (that's probably the best way to figure out the target audience of a film).
I'm a believer that the best things come in 4, sometimes instead of giving us an everyman as an audience surrogate we are given 4 to choose from, a sort of "pin the everyman on the character." Four manufactured personalites creating a net, as if audience members were fish to be caught. A large enough range so a larger chunk of people identify with at least one person in the piece of work.
Lets take Seinfeld as an example, you have Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine. Jerry for the egotistical, George for the self loathing, Kramer for the eccentric and Elaine for the nuerotic.
So who is my favourite beatle? It's probably George, as a lover of the obscure.How could i not admire the talented introvert in the shadows. The world loves an underdog and i'm no different. Although that might change later as i can be quite fickle.
Also Pin The Everyman On The Character is available at stores for $19.99.........
Monday, February 18, 2013
Movies
So as anyone close to me will tell you i love movies, well in general works of fiction, i guess you could tell with my long discussion of my love of animation and my opinion on the stigma being a 23 year old and watching things that are considered childish may carry.
It's actually funny my choices of movies are most likely the most mature part of me (well and music) i'm a sucker for things that are depressing or comedys that are dark, and unfortunately my pretentiousness does leak into my movie viewing.
My cynisism also leaks in as i am always weary of anything big budget and blockbustery (is that a word?), the moment i found out they were making another Fast and Furious movie i just had to groan.
So as a change of pace i figured i'd take a personal look into some of my favourite movies (for lack of other ideas) these aren't in any particular order because honestly creating and honest top 10 would just take me hours.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
As someone who was a british schoolboy for an earlier part of my life it was always commonplace that you would hear the 'knights of ni' routine as a regular occurence (that sentence was so run on it's not even funny). As a 10 year old this is probably the funniest thing that you have ever seen, and it you're the precosious enough it has enough quote to tire out your whole family (even if you're from a big family).
Also don't misinterpret my 10 year old school boy jabber this is by no means a kids movie, there are some very adult jokes in it (both the sophisticated kind and the oh i didn't realise that was so rude kind),
Finally as a lover of comedy and movies how could i not love a movie that sticks a middle finger up at climaxes.
Stranger Than Fiction
I adore this movie. I am the kind of person who loves when an actor can step up and do a movie that is not his regular forte, and boy does Will Ferrell do well here, and in such a wonderful story, such a unique, creative and heartwarming story (oh my god i'm actually gushing). Dustin Hoffman is always a class act and is believable as someone who is skeptical but intruiged and in some ways altruistic.
This is a truely wonderful film start to finish and i love how the protagantist has to really work for his happy ending (ok gushing over).
Labrynth
So i watched this movie recently to see if this movie still held up (because i enjoyed this movie as a kid) and what i found was that a) the special effects were really aged (not that special effects are that important if the story is good) and b) the story was really simple and childish (and if you're just tuning in i'm mature with movies).
So you'd think it wouldn't hold up, but you know what, I STILL LIKED IT. Yeah i said it, this is one of my guilty pleasures and this is for 2 reasons.
1) It so wonderfully campy and 80s
2) David motherfrosting Bowie
Honestly who doesn't want to dance magic dance with the goblin king!
Charlie Bartlett
Every generation has a high school movie that they can truely call their own, and when i was 17 just coming out of high school, 2 movies came out which i consider to be our generations high school movies (that is so corny). The first is Charlie Bartlett and the other will be mentioned below (no cheating and scrolling down!)
The main character is so endering and the teenagers actually act like teenagers, there's no sugar coating, they have problems, anxieties and some feel damn well alienated. This is one of those movies that feels so upbeat but has undertones or darkness and that is refreshing for something made for teenagers.
Superbad
I'll be honest, when devising this list 3 movies with Michael Cera popped up (i don't have a man crush!).
When you go to a video store and it has a comedy sticker on it alot of the time it's going to be something the is laugh a minute flick but lacks substance and there is a movie full of substance but the laughs are few and far between, but sometimes there is the diamond in the rough, the gem that while was laugh out loud funny, and can make you use your brain and sometimes your heart (ugh that is really corny).
It is a wonderful journey, the character are realistic (especially for anyone not particularly popular at high school) and as someone who finds happy endings passe i thought the bitter sweet ending was a nice way to top it all off, an implicit happy ending but with shades of grey (less than 50)
Blues Brother
Hey boys and girls, do you like music, movies, car chase scenes, pissed of hillbillies and nazis! Well you're in luck!
This movie is on the right side of both hilarious and action pact, the songs are just freaking awesome and anyone who is a fan of blues and jazz will love cameos from Cab Calloway and Ray Charles. In my opinion the special effects have not aged one bit, and is proof that with all the great new technology directors have at their disposal if you can write and good story and funny jokes then fancy shmancy sfx does not make a lick of difference.
Feel good celebration of music with an iconic car chase in the mall which i'm sure has been parodied countless times.
Hook
Another movie close to the ol childhood, this was at a time where people gave a crap what they sold to kids, this sort of sequel/retelling of a classic story that didn't suck!
Dustin Hoffman was a great Captain James Hook and Robin Williams found himself on the right side of subtle playing Peter Pan. This is a nice realistic and modern look at a Peter that has fallen into the mediocrity of adult life, and i must say the irony was not lost on me.
Also the action scenes weren't bad either (remember when fantasy movies weren't 3 hours long?).
Movies that are probably my top 3
Number 3: Little Miss Sunshine
It's so wonderfully dysfunctional! This is a family of rejects who never really get what they want and they usually end up humiliate themselves trying to get it, and i love that.
This movie is hilarious, wonderfully acted and is conceptually sound. The family in this movie are stuff in a van with eachother on a road trip across America and they all hate eachother, these people would not be in this situation were they not family.
The harsh realism is refreshing and sometimes the toil, misadventure and failure of someone else is unfortunately funny.
Number 2: Fight Club
The quintisential cult classic. This is the catalyst for my love affair with indie and obscure films, i don't think i know anyone who doesn't like this movie unless they haven't seen it, this movie is a masterpiece.
This movie set the bar for twists and is another one of those movies that implies that there is a happy ending somewhere there, but there is still work to do. This is a movie that requires you to use your brain and left me captivated from start to finish.
I fear i broke some rules talking about Fight Club.....
Number 1: Pulp Fiction
Tarantino is most likely my favourite director, he is a man who has created his own quirky fictional universe in which Hitler gets shot into oblivion by pissed off Jewish assassins, and Pulp Fiction is his magnum opus, this boys and girls is my hands down favourite movie of all time.
It's story telling style is unique and when you think ensemble cast, you think of this movie. The dialogue is entertaining, the seperate stories meld in so wonderfully together and there is not a single wasted character in this movie.
Oh and Christopher Walken, that is all.
So those are some of my favourite movies, i highly recommend these to anyone who is a lover of movies. I swear i had a list of 20 movies before i started writing but to have done all 20 would have drained me and would have been (more) boring.
So that's me and if you can find 20 spelling mistake in that i'll buy you a cookie, peace.
It's actually funny my choices of movies are most likely the most mature part of me (well and music) i'm a sucker for things that are depressing or comedys that are dark, and unfortunately my pretentiousness does leak into my movie viewing.
My cynisism also leaks in as i am always weary of anything big budget and blockbustery (is that a word?), the moment i found out they were making another Fast and Furious movie i just had to groan.
So as a change of pace i figured i'd take a personal look into some of my favourite movies (for lack of other ideas) these aren't in any particular order because honestly creating and honest top 10 would just take me hours.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
As someone who was a british schoolboy for an earlier part of my life it was always commonplace that you would hear the 'knights of ni' routine as a regular occurence (that sentence was so run on it's not even funny). As a 10 year old this is probably the funniest thing that you have ever seen, and it you're the precosious enough it has enough quote to tire out your whole family (even if you're from a big family).
Also don't misinterpret my 10 year old school boy jabber this is by no means a kids movie, there are some very adult jokes in it (both the sophisticated kind and the oh i didn't realise that was so rude kind),
Finally as a lover of comedy and movies how could i not love a movie that sticks a middle finger up at climaxes.
Stranger Than Fiction
I adore this movie. I am the kind of person who loves when an actor can step up and do a movie that is not his regular forte, and boy does Will Ferrell do well here, and in such a wonderful story, such a unique, creative and heartwarming story (oh my god i'm actually gushing). Dustin Hoffman is always a class act and is believable as someone who is skeptical but intruiged and in some ways altruistic.
This is a truely wonderful film start to finish and i love how the protagantist has to really work for his happy ending (ok gushing over).
Labrynth
So i watched this movie recently to see if this movie still held up (because i enjoyed this movie as a kid) and what i found was that a) the special effects were really aged (not that special effects are that important if the story is good) and b) the story was really simple and childish (and if you're just tuning in i'm mature with movies).
So you'd think it wouldn't hold up, but you know what, I STILL LIKED IT. Yeah i said it, this is one of my guilty pleasures and this is for 2 reasons.
1) It so wonderfully campy and 80s
2) David motherfrosting Bowie
Honestly who doesn't want to dance magic dance with the goblin king!
Charlie Bartlett
Every generation has a high school movie that they can truely call their own, and when i was 17 just coming out of high school, 2 movies came out which i consider to be our generations high school movies (that is so corny). The first is Charlie Bartlett and the other will be mentioned below (no cheating and scrolling down!)
The main character is so endering and the teenagers actually act like teenagers, there's no sugar coating, they have problems, anxieties and some feel damn well alienated. This is one of those movies that feels so upbeat but has undertones or darkness and that is refreshing for something made for teenagers.
Superbad
I'll be honest, when devising this list 3 movies with Michael Cera popped up (i don't have a man crush!).
When you go to a video store and it has a comedy sticker on it alot of the time it's going to be something the is laugh a minute flick but lacks substance and there is a movie full of substance but the laughs are few and far between, but sometimes there is the diamond in the rough, the gem that while was laugh out loud funny, and can make you use your brain and sometimes your heart (ugh that is really corny).
It is a wonderful journey, the character are realistic (especially for anyone not particularly popular at high school) and as someone who finds happy endings passe i thought the bitter sweet ending was a nice way to top it all off, an implicit happy ending but with shades of grey (less than 50)
Blues Brother
Hey boys and girls, do you like music, movies, car chase scenes, pissed of hillbillies and nazis! Well you're in luck!
This movie is on the right side of both hilarious and action pact, the songs are just freaking awesome and anyone who is a fan of blues and jazz will love cameos from Cab Calloway and Ray Charles. In my opinion the special effects have not aged one bit, and is proof that with all the great new technology directors have at their disposal if you can write and good story and funny jokes then fancy shmancy sfx does not make a lick of difference.
Feel good celebration of music with an iconic car chase in the mall which i'm sure has been parodied countless times.
Hook
Another movie close to the ol childhood, this was at a time where people gave a crap what they sold to kids, this sort of sequel/retelling of a classic story that didn't suck!
Dustin Hoffman was a great Captain James Hook and Robin Williams found himself on the right side of subtle playing Peter Pan. This is a nice realistic and modern look at a Peter that has fallen into the mediocrity of adult life, and i must say the irony was not lost on me.
Also the action scenes weren't bad either (remember when fantasy movies weren't 3 hours long?).
Movies that are probably my top 3
Number 3: Little Miss Sunshine
It's so wonderfully dysfunctional! This is a family of rejects who never really get what they want and they usually end up humiliate themselves trying to get it, and i love that.
This movie is hilarious, wonderfully acted and is conceptually sound. The family in this movie are stuff in a van with eachother on a road trip across America and they all hate eachother, these people would not be in this situation were they not family.
The harsh realism is refreshing and sometimes the toil, misadventure and failure of someone else is unfortunately funny.
Number 2: Fight Club
The quintisential cult classic. This is the catalyst for my love affair with indie and obscure films, i don't think i know anyone who doesn't like this movie unless they haven't seen it, this movie is a masterpiece.
This movie set the bar for twists and is another one of those movies that implies that there is a happy ending somewhere there, but there is still work to do. This is a movie that requires you to use your brain and left me captivated from start to finish.
I fear i broke some rules talking about Fight Club.....
Number 1: Pulp Fiction
Tarantino is most likely my favourite director, he is a man who has created his own quirky fictional universe in which Hitler gets shot into oblivion by pissed off Jewish assassins, and Pulp Fiction is his magnum opus, this boys and girls is my hands down favourite movie of all time.
It's story telling style is unique and when you think ensemble cast, you think of this movie. The dialogue is entertaining, the seperate stories meld in so wonderfully together and there is not a single wasted character in this movie.
Oh and Christopher Walken, that is all.
So those are some of my favourite movies, i highly recommend these to anyone who is a lover of movies. I swear i had a list of 20 movies before i started writing but to have done all 20 would have drained me and would have been (more) boring.
So that's me and if you can find 20 spelling mistake in that i'll buy you a cookie, peace.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Censorship
So hey...... readers? I forget how i start these things, i guess that's the blessing and the curse of informal writing, you have so much choice! But you also have so much choice with no direction, no benchmarks or conventions. So while i like writing in free form and seeing where inspiration takes me it's always hard for me to get the ball rolling (that and i don't put pen to paper the moment inspiration hits) But today inspiration hit! Like a cup cake out of a catapult! No freedom of speech and expression is a big issue for me and i absolutly believe in the right to speak your mind without being taken into a white van and never being seen again.
However that first paragraph may be a little misleading, i am not talking about censorship in regards to the right to critisize the government or the multi nationals (i guess if the multi nationals took you away it would be in a black lexus) This is about censorship in art.
By this i do not mean high brow art or low brow art. Art is subjective, in some ways that is the beauty of art, one mans treasure is anothers trash. I consider comic books art as some consider films, people call Citizen Kane art, why can't i call The Killing Joke art?
I feel i'm out of focus, so censorship. Censorship in art is usually brought on by offence, someone could be offended so we have to censor it. This is because art produced for the mass market will get more funding than is not intended for the mass market, as much as this pains me to say art is not usually done for arts sake, art is made to sell. That's the price to pay, while there is an incentive to produce art it doesn't mean good art is always created (Michael Bay!)
Do i oppose all censorship? No some is necessary. There is a point to be made that music videos that are played at a time where children could be watching maybe shouldn't contain swear words.
But sometimes it's just silly, there's one song that comes to mind by My Chemical Romance that contains the line "what you got under your shirt." and they censored out "shirt.", never mind it making an apt point in context. But seriously how petty are these people that they have to censor out the word shirt because it's vaguely suggestive.
More seriously it can stifle an artform, hays code for example. Brought on by a few stuffy old men's notion of decency. Basically these codes were rules for movie makers (i.e no swearing, no nudity) to maintain the decency of hollywood.
Never mind that these people were bigots who included the rules no white and black relationships or "sex perversion" (homosexuality) and nevermind that decency like art is subjective.
So now the offended control art, nothing can really push the envolope as long as "someone can be offended" (i mean it's not as if you can change the channel or not rent that dvd or not go to see that movie) which is a shame.
Like i said not all censorship is bad, and it's not as bad as it was in the 50s. But the damage has been done, i read somewhere that the hays code conditioned movie viewers into prefering less thought provoking movies as this was all writers were limited to by the tough restrictions. I've also noticed that tv stations really buy into the notion of "if you are offended please write in and tell us."
So i implore you, the stuffy ones, the soccer moms, the moralists! Put down your pens! Put down your pens and just don't watch it, and if you think it's innapropriate for children, don't let your child watch it, my parents didn't approve of watching South Park as a child, so did they write to someone to say it's offensive? No! They just told me not to watch it.
Rule of thumb, if you're not enjoying it, you're not the intended audience. Thanks you and goodnight.
However that first paragraph may be a little misleading, i am not talking about censorship in regards to the right to critisize the government or the multi nationals (i guess if the multi nationals took you away it would be in a black lexus) This is about censorship in art.
By this i do not mean high brow art or low brow art. Art is subjective, in some ways that is the beauty of art, one mans treasure is anothers trash. I consider comic books art as some consider films, people call Citizen Kane art, why can't i call The Killing Joke art?
I feel i'm out of focus, so censorship. Censorship in art is usually brought on by offence, someone could be offended so we have to censor it. This is because art produced for the mass market will get more funding than is not intended for the mass market, as much as this pains me to say art is not usually done for arts sake, art is made to sell. That's the price to pay, while there is an incentive to produce art it doesn't mean good art is always created (Michael Bay!)
Do i oppose all censorship? No some is necessary. There is a point to be made that music videos that are played at a time where children could be watching maybe shouldn't contain swear words.
But sometimes it's just silly, there's one song that comes to mind by My Chemical Romance that contains the line "what you got under your shirt." and they censored out "shirt.", never mind it making an apt point in context. But seriously how petty are these people that they have to censor out the word shirt because it's vaguely suggestive.
More seriously it can stifle an artform, hays code for example. Brought on by a few stuffy old men's notion of decency. Basically these codes were rules for movie makers (i.e no swearing, no nudity) to maintain the decency of hollywood.
Never mind that these people were bigots who included the rules no white and black relationships or "sex perversion" (homosexuality) and nevermind that decency like art is subjective.
So now the offended control art, nothing can really push the envolope as long as "someone can be offended" (i mean it's not as if you can change the channel or not rent that dvd or not go to see that movie) which is a shame.
Like i said not all censorship is bad, and it's not as bad as it was in the 50s. But the damage has been done, i read somewhere that the hays code conditioned movie viewers into prefering less thought provoking movies as this was all writers were limited to by the tough restrictions. I've also noticed that tv stations really buy into the notion of "if you are offended please write in and tell us."
So i implore you, the stuffy ones, the soccer moms, the moralists! Put down your pens! Put down your pens and just don't watch it, and if you think it's innapropriate for children, don't let your child watch it, my parents didn't approve of watching South Park as a child, so did they write to someone to say it's offensive? No! They just told me not to watch it.
Rule of thumb, if you're not enjoying it, you're not the intended audience. Thanks you and goodnight.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Maturity
So it's been a while.......... this blog was put onto hiatus a few years ago (well i say hiatus, because with an ego like mine, who needs realism!) i neglected this blog which is a real shame because it was an absolute joy to write, so i've decided to give it another shot, with my grand return, an older more worldly refreshingly cynical! I think that's the first time i've refered to myself as my username on anything, but i digress. But i find that however mature i find my beliefs and knowledge i still like very immature things. Which is a pretty nice segway into the topic.
I am going to make an admission, possibly even a confession..... ready? here it comes. I like cartoon, i'm not only one of course, heck on the internet there are people in my age group that enjoy a recent my little pony cartoon, i still haven't quite worked out if it's all a big joke, it doesn't make a difference to me, it's hilarious either way!
Is it nostalgia? I think that forms part of it, i mean can anyone really say that they don't have some sort of attachment to the things that they enjoyed in the important development stages of their lives, personally the things that i love, music, media, sport and interest, are usually things that i enjoyed between the age of 10 and 18. So much now that it's hard for me to get into new music, which some big exceptions.
I also personally think that these cartoons while entertaining are a great source of social commentary, from the cartoon in the 40s that had Popeye fighting the yellow peril, to those crazy 80s outfits and consumerist culture in the 90s.
You might find it odd that in a blog titled maturity i write about my own immaturity, well immaturity is from the same coin, just on a different side.
I am going to make an admission, possibly even a confession..... ready? here it comes. I like cartoon, i'm not only one of course, heck on the internet there are people in my age group that enjoy a recent my little pony cartoon, i still haven't quite worked out if it's all a big joke, it doesn't make a difference to me, it's hilarious either way!
Is it nostalgia? I think that forms part of it, i mean can anyone really say that they don't have some sort of attachment to the things that they enjoyed in the important development stages of their lives, personally the things that i love, music, media, sport and interest, are usually things that i enjoyed between the age of 10 and 18. So much now that it's hard for me to get into new music, which some big exceptions.
I also personally think that these cartoons while entertaining are a great source of social commentary, from the cartoon in the 40s that had Popeye fighting the yellow peril, to those crazy 80s outfits and consumerist culture in the 90s.
You might find it odd that in a blog titled maturity i write about my own immaturity, well immaturity is from the same coin, just on a different side.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Marketing
Now for the third blog i once again come to the topic of the world cup. Now once again i am not necassarily about the football. But the world cup as an event ties in very closely to the idea of marketing.
I mean think about it (think think about it) it is impossible to watch the full 90 minutes of a world cup match without some kind of corperate idea put into your mind. Well obviously because of the ads but then you get back to the main feature and what do you get, little boards! With Nike and Adidas and Lynx and whatever some guy sitting at home scratching his ass with a solid gold ass scratcher wants you to buy. Now i know this seems a little like a broken record coming from me (what do you mean Oliver you love rich business owners and libertarianism?) and you would be right. Waheey
At the same time it is an interesting fact that marketers don't just need to use traditional media or advertising channels to entice the average rational consumer (as well as the other 90% of consumers) This other form of advertising is cheap, it spreads out far within the community and heck it could be considered good for the environment (none of those pesky flyers) It's out on the streets this marketing occurs (i sound so gangsta right now) it occurs between you and me, it's on t shirts and styrofoam cups (so not so good for the environment), it's on wrappers and shoes. It's on the feet of football players as they prance around the field (looking at you Italy)
When you buy a shirt, or boots or a cup of coffee you are buying for a corperate image, perhaps that's the image you associate with, heck you might like the taste of the coffee! (Yeah that is a bit of a stretch) It's not just visual, you can hear people talk about a cd, about a concert (if you're an eavedropper) you hear people sing (now that really is a stretch). Ultimately my point is it's hard to go down you're local high street, main street, shopping mall etc, without getting some sort of corperate image that the slick guy with a bluetooth headset and a ponytail (in other words a marketer) didn't directly make for you to see (well maybe he did) but indirectly benefited from)
To finish i put to you a marketing challenge, next time you go to a high street, main street, shopping mall or any urban area (the streets yo) look out for any corperate image not created through normal media or advertising channels. But pure viral marketing (i think that's what it's called) perhaps write them down, i planned to do that in a little notebook, we'll see.
Anyway, peace out
I mean think about it (think think about it) it is impossible to watch the full 90 minutes of a world cup match without some kind of corperate idea put into your mind. Well obviously because of the ads but then you get back to the main feature and what do you get, little boards! With Nike and Adidas and Lynx and whatever some guy sitting at home scratching his ass with a solid gold ass scratcher wants you to buy. Now i know this seems a little like a broken record coming from me (what do you mean Oliver you love rich business owners and libertarianism?) and you would be right. Waheey
At the same time it is an interesting fact that marketers don't just need to use traditional media or advertising channels to entice the average rational consumer (as well as the other 90% of consumers) This other form of advertising is cheap, it spreads out far within the community and heck it could be considered good for the environment (none of those pesky flyers) It's out on the streets this marketing occurs (i sound so gangsta right now) it occurs between you and me, it's on t shirts and styrofoam cups (so not so good for the environment), it's on wrappers and shoes. It's on the feet of football players as they prance around the field (looking at you Italy)
When you buy a shirt, or boots or a cup of coffee you are buying for a corperate image, perhaps that's the image you associate with, heck you might like the taste of the coffee! (Yeah that is a bit of a stretch) It's not just visual, you can hear people talk about a cd, about a concert (if you're an eavedropper) you hear people sing (now that really is a stretch). Ultimately my point is it's hard to go down you're local high street, main street, shopping mall etc, without getting some sort of corperate image that the slick guy with a bluetooth headset and a ponytail (in other words a marketer) didn't directly make for you to see (well maybe he did) but indirectly benefited from)
To finish i put to you a marketing challenge, next time you go to a high street, main street, shopping mall or any urban area (the streets yo) look out for any corperate image not created through normal media or advertising channels. But pure viral marketing (i think that's what it's called) perhaps write them down, i planned to do that in a little notebook, we'll see.
Anyway, peace out
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Mistakes
So i'm sitting here listening to one of my favourite Pink Floyd song, now those of you who know me would assume it would be something written by Roger Waters one of my favourite song writers. However that would be a mistake (ah the links write themselves) it's actually a David Gilmour number, from Momentry Lapse of Reason(which some Pink Floyd fans might call a mistake in itself). The song is One Slip which i think is increadibly relevant to the topic in hand.
I also think it should be the soundtrack of this years world cup. To list the mistakes i have seen; Green vs USA, The Algerian keeper vs Slovenia, the Serbian defender that gave a penalty against Ghana, the Australians for being Australian, the Argentina defender who basically gave Korea a goal and finally me for making bad picks on my Jimungo account.
We all have our perfect world cups set out in our heads, how games should go, which teams are better than the others and we never really account for the little mistakes that can go wrong, how can we i guess, we can never predict that one slip that tends to happen, only make a little contingency in the back of our heads that something bad will happen, best laid plans of mice (yes cheesy plans) and men gang aft agley (can go wrong) yada yada yada.
The best we can do is not be suprised when it does happen (i've been an England supporter since i could think so i've gotten rather good at it) and ultimatly not get too disheartened when things finally go wrong.
Now i when i say we all have our perfect world cups i don't just mean the competition, in life we have our own little event, very important to us, planned out in a way that would be perfect to us. Not only in football but in life can we shrug off those "one slips" and do our best to push through.
Peace out and hopefully you won't feel that reading this was a mistake
I also think it should be the soundtrack of this years world cup. To list the mistakes i have seen; Green vs USA, The Algerian keeper vs Slovenia, the Serbian defender that gave a penalty against Ghana, the Australians for being Australian, the Argentina defender who basically gave Korea a goal and finally me for making bad picks on my Jimungo account.
We all have our perfect world cups set out in our heads, how games should go, which teams are better than the others and we never really account for the little mistakes that can go wrong, how can we i guess, we can never predict that one slip that tends to happen, only make a little contingency in the back of our heads that something bad will happen, best laid plans of mice (yes cheesy plans) and men gang aft agley (can go wrong) yada yada yada.
The best we can do is not be suprised when it does happen (i've been an England supporter since i could think so i've gotten rather good at it) and ultimatly not get too disheartened when things finally go wrong.
Now i when i say we all have our perfect world cups i don't just mean the competition, in life we have our own little event, very important to us, planned out in a way that would be perfect to us. Not only in football but in life can we shrug off those "one slips" and do our best to push through.
Peace out and hopefully you won't feel that reading this was a mistake
Saturday, June 12, 2010
The World Cup
It is i back from obscurity asking the tough question, does anyone blog anymore? It appears not i guess i well and truely missed the wave.
Aside from that pessimistic notion (which i guess if anyone is reading this would come to expect anyway) i do actually have a topic on my mind right now The World Cup! Which is expected i mean day two and the competition is in full swing, but funnily enough it's not the football i want to discuss, it's what the World Cup represents to me, it's not very often in life where we get to take a static mental snapshot of a period in time of how your life was at that moment. I mean there are the usuals, weddings, graduations, family holidays. You remember who you friends were and what they looked like at that very moment in time. But they're not regular, i mean birthdays are a nice regular look at your life once a year. But that's once a year, there is regular time to look at changes in your life but too short of a time period, changes can be taken for granted.
Then there's the World cup, how many other times can you say, this is how i have changed in the last 4 years, especially in the life of a young man. So many young men can say "i know where i was when Brazil won in 2002" or "when Italy won in 2006" (and it was all against Vialoux). I have been watching the World Cup since 1998, this has let me share the joy of triumph, the dispair of (another bloody shoot out) loss and the perspective to see how much my life has changed in the last 4 years.
So those of you enjoying the football, waiting with baited breath on the performance of your respective countries, take a second to look at how your life has changed in the last 4 years and hopefully enjoy the same perspective that i have enjoyed from 1998.
And now a joke
"What do you call an Scottishman in the second round of the world cup final?"
A Referee!
Peace!
Aside from that pessimistic notion (which i guess if anyone is reading this would come to expect anyway) i do actually have a topic on my mind right now The World Cup! Which is expected i mean day two and the competition is in full swing, but funnily enough it's not the football i want to discuss, it's what the World Cup represents to me, it's not very often in life where we get to take a static mental snapshot of a period in time of how your life was at that moment. I mean there are the usuals, weddings, graduations, family holidays. You remember who you friends were and what they looked like at that very moment in time. But they're not regular, i mean birthdays are a nice regular look at your life once a year. But that's once a year, there is regular time to look at changes in your life but too short of a time period, changes can be taken for granted.
Then there's the World cup, how many other times can you say, this is how i have changed in the last 4 years, especially in the life of a young man. So many young men can say "i know where i was when Brazil won in 2002" or "when Italy won in 2006" (and it was all against Vialoux). I have been watching the World Cup since 1998, this has let me share the joy of triumph, the dispair of (another bloody shoot out) loss and the perspective to see how much my life has changed in the last 4 years.
So those of you enjoying the football, waiting with baited breath on the performance of your respective countries, take a second to look at how your life has changed in the last 4 years and hopefully enjoy the same perspective that i have enjoyed from 1998.
And now a joke
"What do you call an Scottishman in the second round of the world cup final?"
A Referee!
Peace!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Boredom
So i looked at my blog today and realised that i hadn't made a post since last year, so i thought i'd get off my ass and write a new one. Which is kind of a problem because it's summer and noooooothing of actual interest or excitment really happens during the summer period. Nothing to study as i'm not at uni over the summer and if your on holiday from work and the television is crap during the midday.
Which reminds me of a Pink Floyd lyric from one of my favourite songs called Nobody Home from The Walls album aka one of the most depressing albums in all of existance (did i spell that right?) anyway the line is:
"13 channels of s*** on the tv to choose from."
Which is a similar experience i have with the tv, except in higher volume and with different degrees of s***.
First there are only 21 channels i would consider watchable (including the sports and childrens channels)
But at the time of day when i frequently sit and watch some television there is jack all on. (I mean Jane and the freaking dragon for goodness sake, i mean females could not be knights, horrible concept)
So anyway i hope my lack of enlightenment and activity (apart from the gym but only to get away from boredom) um i usually have a little gag or something at the end of my blogs (do i still do that?) so um.
Patient: doctor doctor
Docter: what is it and why do people keep refering to me that way, i have a name you know!
Patient: I'm sorry doctor......
*Reads name tag* (do doctors have name tags?)
Patient: Doctor Weinstien, hey, i thought u were an accountant
Doctor: Oi way to make it racist you shmuck
Patient: That's disgusting i'm leaving
*Patients feet fall off*
Patient: Well this is embarressing
The moral of the story is, boredom is a dangerous thing
Which reminds me of a Pink Floyd lyric from one of my favourite songs called Nobody Home from The Walls album aka one of the most depressing albums in all of existance (did i spell that right?) anyway the line is:
"13 channels of s*** on the tv to choose from."
Which is a similar experience i have with the tv, except in higher volume and with different degrees of s***.
First there are only 21 channels i would consider watchable (including the sports and childrens channels)
But at the time of day when i frequently sit and watch some television there is jack all on. (I mean Jane and the freaking dragon for goodness sake, i mean females could not be knights, horrible concept)
So anyway i hope my lack of enlightenment and activity (apart from the gym but only to get away from boredom) um i usually have a little gag or something at the end of my blogs (do i still do that?) so um.
Patient: doctor doctor
Docter: what is it and why do people keep refering to me that way, i have a name you know!
Patient: I'm sorry doctor......
*Reads name tag* (do doctors have name tags?)
Patient: Doctor Weinstien, hey, i thought u were an accountant
Doctor: Oi way to make it racist you shmuck
Patient: That's disgusting i'm leaving
*Patients feet fall off*
Patient: Well this is embarressing
The moral of the story is, boredom is a dangerous thing
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
The times they are a changing
Bob Dylan one of my favourite songwriters sang about change, about the opinions of the people of the world with the new youth culture and folk movement, i'd like to say alot has changed. But the American government is still controlled by multinationals and big oil (damn i said i wasn't gonna complain about those) America is still controlled by over religious right wing gun nuts. But this blog wasn't meant to be me complaining about my qualms about the global economy and politics, coz i'm sure the 4 or 5 readers would not be interested in that (i'd end up using all these techinical terms) but change is an interesting topic, it happens to all of us, whether we're signing a mortgage or your a shopaholic deciding what clothers your going to buy and leave at the back of your closet without wearing it once!
So i'm sitting on the couch with a glass of whiskey with comedy central in the background writing about change (without using the words Barack Obama in the first paragraph) and this isn't about Barack Obama i mean yeah the first black president is a pretty major change but today when i was thinking about change his name was the last to come to mind.
So i guess to get this into context i guess i'd better talk about my day. Basically i got up late for uni (not really a change i've done that a dozen times before) and luckily my bus wasn't too full and i got two seats to myself which during the bus lockout is a freakin luxury (i say lockout cause i'm a demand side economic, yeah i know more big words this'll be over soon, and will side with the employee over the capitalist pig trying to opress the bus workers) and there we already have a substantial change! Industrial action, it's what you want in a change, juicy consequences (not getting a seat in a goddamn bus!) a bit of drama if you watch the news (which if you're an average New Zealander you don't) and traffic that pissed the hell out of me! Oh! On a side note, i'm sorry i have to vent. But who decided to merge the lanes right after a busy off ramp! Seriously! I sat through traffic which a freakin third lane would fix! The cheap cost cutting moronic son of a freakin (crap i forgot i wasn't swearing on this thing)! I want to find you and cut off a third of your house, because that my friends is justice served bulldozer!
But we're getting beyond ourselves, coz at this point i was still in town (and not in traffic!) Nothing of interest there really. Minor changes like a change of breezes, recieving a grades and it starting to freakin rain! Oh i've skipped something, yeah the Burger King set on fire (yawn not really big news, seriously there was no smoke, cept from the usual smokers on Queen Street, the point is i didn't get my red bull and that annoyed me also) So anyway i bought some shirts (calm down i know it's not more important than a fire, merely a plot decide to keep this story moving) now this is a change in itself as i know have more shirts, but i also saw a another kind of change, a change that has happened and is continuing to happen. I saw a drag queen, now that in itself isn't a major change, but perception and freedom has. Which would work for anything and yes i admit is a bit of a stretch. Now i used to consider myself a liberal, don't get me wrong i believe in equality based on race, religion and creed (as long as you're a man) but liberal, that people have the freedom to do anything with no government regulation! (and once again i'm venting) now with the rise of liberalism you can effectively within the bounds of the law (with a couple of grey areas) do anything you want, and though people don't like it and i makes some uncomfortable they have to respect your freedom to do anything you want.
Now i think i've blagged on long enough about change and my second glass of whiskey looks neglected, i'm sure i had a point but now it's escaped. So to once again quote the great Bob Dylan "Goodbyes too good a word babe, so i just say farelewell."
So i'm sitting on the couch with a glass of whiskey with comedy central in the background writing about change (without using the words Barack Obama in the first paragraph) and this isn't about Barack Obama i mean yeah the first black president is a pretty major change but today when i was thinking about change his name was the last to come to mind.
So i guess to get this into context i guess i'd better talk about my day. Basically i got up late for uni (not really a change i've done that a dozen times before) and luckily my bus wasn't too full and i got two seats to myself which during the bus lockout is a freakin luxury (i say lockout cause i'm a demand side economic, yeah i know more big words this'll be over soon, and will side with the employee over the capitalist pig trying to opress the bus workers) and there we already have a substantial change! Industrial action, it's what you want in a change, juicy consequences (not getting a seat in a goddamn bus!) a bit of drama if you watch the news (which if you're an average New Zealander you don't) and traffic that pissed the hell out of me! Oh! On a side note, i'm sorry i have to vent. But who decided to merge the lanes right after a busy off ramp! Seriously! I sat through traffic which a freakin third lane would fix! The cheap cost cutting moronic son of a freakin (crap i forgot i wasn't swearing on this thing)! I want to find you and cut off a third of your house, because that my friends is justice served bulldozer!
But we're getting beyond ourselves, coz at this point i was still in town (and not in traffic!) Nothing of interest there really. Minor changes like a change of breezes, recieving a grades and it starting to freakin rain! Oh i've skipped something, yeah the Burger King set on fire (yawn not really big news, seriously there was no smoke, cept from the usual smokers on Queen Street, the point is i didn't get my red bull and that annoyed me also) So anyway i bought some shirts (calm down i know it's not more important than a fire, merely a plot decide to keep this story moving) now this is a change in itself as i know have more shirts, but i also saw a another kind of change, a change that has happened and is continuing to happen. I saw a drag queen, now that in itself isn't a major change, but perception and freedom has. Which would work for anything and yes i admit is a bit of a stretch. Now i used to consider myself a liberal, don't get me wrong i believe in equality based on race, religion and creed (as long as you're a man) but liberal, that people have the freedom to do anything with no government regulation! (and once again i'm venting) now with the rise of liberalism you can effectively within the bounds of the law (with a couple of grey areas) do anything you want, and though people don't like it and i makes some uncomfortable they have to respect your freedom to do anything you want.
Now i think i've blagged on long enough about change and my second glass of whiskey looks neglected, i'm sure i had a point but now it's escaped. So to once again quote the great Bob Dylan "Goodbyes too good a word babe, so i just say farelewell."
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Breasts/the AUT computer lab
Hello my pretties, the people that read my blog that expect more regular posts but Rome wasn't build in a day and i'm a bad mix of lazy and very VERY busy. I also have an ego to boost, so i imply that i am some kind of talented writer when i say, i am lowering myself to toilet humor, a very mild form of toilet humour, no this came out of that and the like. But i have pondered in my head this question in my head for a while. Now to put this into some kind of context it is well known that it is considered rude, perverted and sexist to look at a girls breasts, however i pose this question. Why if this is the case to t shirt makers put all the action around the cleavage area? I saw a girl walking down queen street with a monkey and writing around the area in question. (Don't ask me what was written. A monkey and breasts, come on!) I am a 19 year old guy with the attention span and imagination of a 7 year old! A monkey and breasts! My eyes aren't going anywhere else!
Now i've only filled a paragraph with that topic, sooooo here begins my regular shameless complaining about the computer labs at AUT. Now to list, only 10 computers have the computer software that i need for one of my papers, only some computers with excel have data analysis which i need for one of my papers and more recently and more temporarily the printers weren't working one day(not to bad i know i just needed filler) that i need for my course (hmm we're seeing a pattern here)
So in one foul swoop i have killed the integrity of my (cough cough) ethical writing, and for a change i didn't complain about conservitism, liberalism or multinationals. I feel fulfilled!
Now i've only filled a paragraph with that topic, sooooo here begins my regular shameless complaining about the computer labs at AUT. Now to list, only 10 computers have the computer software that i need for one of my papers, only some computers with excel have data analysis which i need for one of my papers and more recently and more temporarily the printers weren't working one day(not to bad i know i just needed filler) that i need for my course (hmm we're seeing a pattern here)
So in one foul swoop i have killed the integrity of my (cough cough) ethical writing, and for a change i didn't complain about conservitism, liberalism or multinationals. I feel fulfilled!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Exams/top 10
I know i haven't updated my blog since May I've been busy. So i thought i'd copy David Letterman and do a top 10 list and as it's around exam time i might as well do it about that.
Top 10 Exam Nightmares
1)You get nervous and vomit over the examiner
2)It's the middle of the exam and you're in your underwear
3)You studied for the wrong exam
4)You break your wrist while writing
5)Your pens explode
6)Your phone goes of in your pocket
7)Your wallet starts ringing
8)Terrorists take over the exam room and take you and the other students hostage
9)You have a brain haemorrage
10)You forget how to write
Peace out!
Top 10 Exam Nightmares
1)You get nervous and vomit over the examiner
2)It's the middle of the exam and you're in your underwear
3)You studied for the wrong exam
4)You break your wrist while writing
5)Your pens explode
6)Your phone goes of in your pocket
7)Your wallet starts ringing
8)Terrorists take over the exam room and take you and the other students hostage
9)You have a brain haemorrage
10)You forget how to write
Peace out!
Friday, May 22, 2009
Logic
In my habit of blogging about obscure concepts i come now too logic, or more like lack of logic. I like to watch television, i consider it a past time, along with sleeping and not being at work it's one of my favourite things to do. If you are thinking that's sad well this is coming from the guy writing a blog about logic, if you followed that thought pattern then well done. That's logic!
Lately i have seen statements on tv that lack logic. Like for example that ad for a program on living (i think it was living) I think he was a Geordie bloke so that might describe the lack off logic. He says that because of the declining property market (i think it's implied that this is because of the recession) that it's a good time to renovate your homes. He fails to consider however another effect of the recession, which is of course the fact that people have less disposable income (either lost from investment or the fact that the value of it has decreased due to inflation) so this statement lacks logic.
I guess a Geordie hosting a program on living could be excused, i'm not going to disregard the skill in being a host of one of these programs and the work they most likely do put in. But you'd expect more from a current events program, giving us an informative look at the events around the globe. So when watching an ad for one of these programs (60 minutes i think it was) and see them say "the reason why Chickens aren't going extinct is because we're eating them. Now i'm not a farmer, but surely when you eat something from a species, there is now one less of that species. Now if everyone around the world is doing this then there would be a declining amount for the number of chickens. Now i didn't watch this program, but i will logically assume that this was a well researched article creating good points for the statement. And i'm sure it would be balanced, balanced for a tv company owned by a multi-national. Like for example chickens aren't dying out because we're breeding them to eat them, i would feel i was being logical in saying that.
As i ease into the end of this blog i will take the logical step in finishing with something appropriate, something Spock would be proud of, i'd ultimately like Spock to read this blog and say, that is very logical Oliver, do you have any vulcan in you and i'll of course say no Spock, not at all and i'll let you make up your own punchline, although i hope the punchline is obvious enough, otherwise it'd be just damn illogical.
Lately i have seen statements on tv that lack logic. Like for example that ad for a program on living (i think it was living) I think he was a Geordie bloke so that might describe the lack off logic. He says that because of the declining property market (i think it's implied that this is because of the recession) that it's a good time to renovate your homes. He fails to consider however another effect of the recession, which is of course the fact that people have less disposable income (either lost from investment or the fact that the value of it has decreased due to inflation) so this statement lacks logic.
I guess a Geordie hosting a program on living could be excused, i'm not going to disregard the skill in being a host of one of these programs and the work they most likely do put in. But you'd expect more from a current events program, giving us an informative look at the events around the globe. So when watching an ad for one of these programs (60 minutes i think it was) and see them say "the reason why Chickens aren't going extinct is because we're eating them. Now i'm not a farmer, but surely when you eat something from a species, there is now one less of that species. Now if everyone around the world is doing this then there would be a declining amount for the number of chickens. Now i didn't watch this program, but i will logically assume that this was a well researched article creating good points for the statement. And i'm sure it would be balanced, balanced for a tv company owned by a multi-national. Like for example chickens aren't dying out because we're breeding them to eat them, i would feel i was being logical in saying that.
As i ease into the end of this blog i will take the logical step in finishing with something appropriate, something Spock would be proud of, i'd ultimately like Spock to read this blog and say, that is very logical Oliver, do you have any vulcan in you and i'll of course say no Spock, not at all and i'll let you make up your own punchline, although i hope the punchline is obvious enough, otherwise it'd be just damn illogical.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
BK/pointing
I was at two minds about what i was going to write my blob about. As some may notice i spread my blogs far apart as i wait for topics to present themselves. But these topics are different from usually. One is because i had an experience at BK, i use the word loosely as it wasn't significant at all, heck if i didn't for some strange reason find it appropriate for a blob i wouldn't even remember it. It wasn't really an experience with BK itself, but BK was a platform for how i think and my personality.
I went to Burger King last night. That's the experience. Like i said nothing special, but that's merely describing what the experience was and not going into further detail. So i'll continue. I went to Burger King last night, as i was walking down i was thinking about Globalisation (i.e developed economies beating the crap out of economies that are developing) and multi-national corperations, i was thinking about why people willingly ingest things that are bad for them and pay for it, heck there are lawyers in America that it's the fast food companies personal right to sell this unhealthy food, that it represents some kind of liberty, and this liberty and freedom protects their economy (which is anything but liberal and free). Then i thought that anything can kill you, the sun can kill you! But then in my own personal debate i then reasoned that the sun only kills you if you don't take precautions, and the same applies with fast food, it's only significantly negative if you eat to excess instead of taking the precaution of eating in moderation and having it as an occaisional treat, now i could start a whole new debate about this, i.e considering the intention of advertising, the more healthy menus of these fast food resteraunts and the desire of business's to maximise profit.
Now this was before i even entered the door of Burger King. Now when i entered and nothing really interesting happens i ordered a double whopper combo, not particuarly interesting, just mere details that move my little tale along, i then recieved my cup for me to put my drink into, i put Fanta in (again minor detail, but detail none the less. Then i waited. I then continued to wait do you know what i did after that? You're right i waited. And that didn't bother me. My logical mind made me think that there was also a rational explanation. Rationality, that's an interesting word, rational decision usually involves maximising your own satisfation. Along with a dozen other criteria (one model even implicitly states that it is almost impossible to make a rational decision. Where was i? I've actually lost my place, oh yeah waiting for my meal. Oh yeah rationality! The employees made a rational decision to maximise their job security by performing their task adequatly. Sooo not worth the tangent. Any way while i was waiting i made the rational decision to drink my drink (as customers are entitled to free refills) This maximise my satisfaction, but this does not mean the total satisfaction that could have been derived from that situation was not fulfilled. Most economics students will know there are three resources; time, money and skills. (money is property before you say i've missed anything out, anything of some kind of value) Now time is scarcer than money so only by fully utilsing my time will my satisfation be totally fulfilled, but i accept that external forces also affect my satisfaction.
Anyway i finally got my meal. now perhaps to help maximise my satisfaction i could have voiced my displeasure, maybe with complaint or by acting annoyed. But that's not the kind of person i am. I smiled and i said a sincere thank you. I don't really get frustrated that often because i usually expect that the worst thing is a possibility and am realistic about it. I was aware that my chips may have been sitting in a carton for a while as i walked home. And alas when i got home my chips were cold.
Now a friend of mine told me to write a blog about another incident that happened last week, on a wednesday if my memory serves me best. I went to see a comedian called Ed Byrne, i am a fairly big fan, i own one of his dvds and watch alot of his clips on youtube, one of these bits i saw at his show, always the sign of a fanboy.
Now one of the friends i went with (Sean Flannery) had to use the bathroom so he went in and i waited for him. And amazingly enough i saw Ed Byrne! In the flesh! By the lifts. I became star struck, i could not think of a thing to say to him. But when you see a celebrity you don't do nothing do you! So i pointed. Now i know he saw me pointing, but i was also pulling back from pointing when he turned round. Now he lifted his head in acknolwedgment and i bowed my head to acknowledge him. So at least i was acknowledged by Ed Byrne!
Now one of the funny things about this is that in his show he talked about thinking of the best thing to say after the event actually happens. I was walking down Tristram Ave and i thought of a million things i could have said. The obvious one was "hi, i'm oliver. i'm a big fan."
Peace out!
I went to Burger King last night. That's the experience. Like i said nothing special, but that's merely describing what the experience was and not going into further detail. So i'll continue. I went to Burger King last night, as i was walking down i was thinking about Globalisation (i.e developed economies beating the crap out of economies that are developing) and multi-national corperations, i was thinking about why people willingly ingest things that are bad for them and pay for it, heck there are lawyers in America that it's the fast food companies personal right to sell this unhealthy food, that it represents some kind of liberty, and this liberty and freedom protects their economy (which is anything but liberal and free). Then i thought that anything can kill you, the sun can kill you! But then in my own personal debate i then reasoned that the sun only kills you if you don't take precautions, and the same applies with fast food, it's only significantly negative if you eat to excess instead of taking the precaution of eating in moderation and having it as an occaisional treat, now i could start a whole new debate about this, i.e considering the intention of advertising, the more healthy menus of these fast food resteraunts and the desire of business's to maximise profit.
Now this was before i even entered the door of Burger King. Now when i entered and nothing really interesting happens i ordered a double whopper combo, not particuarly interesting, just mere details that move my little tale along, i then recieved my cup for me to put my drink into, i put Fanta in (again minor detail, but detail none the less. Then i waited. I then continued to wait do you know what i did after that? You're right i waited. And that didn't bother me. My logical mind made me think that there was also a rational explanation. Rationality, that's an interesting word, rational decision usually involves maximising your own satisfation. Along with a dozen other criteria (one model even implicitly states that it is almost impossible to make a rational decision. Where was i? I've actually lost my place, oh yeah waiting for my meal. Oh yeah rationality! The employees made a rational decision to maximise their job security by performing their task adequatly. Sooo not worth the tangent. Any way while i was waiting i made the rational decision to drink my drink (as customers are entitled to free refills) This maximise my satisfaction, but this does not mean the total satisfaction that could have been derived from that situation was not fulfilled. Most economics students will know there are three resources; time, money and skills. (money is property before you say i've missed anything out, anything of some kind of value) Now time is scarcer than money so only by fully utilsing my time will my satisfation be totally fulfilled, but i accept that external forces also affect my satisfaction.
Anyway i finally got my meal. now perhaps to help maximise my satisfaction i could have voiced my displeasure, maybe with complaint or by acting annoyed. But that's not the kind of person i am. I smiled and i said a sincere thank you. I don't really get frustrated that often because i usually expect that the worst thing is a possibility and am realistic about it. I was aware that my chips may have been sitting in a carton for a while as i walked home. And alas when i got home my chips were cold.
Now a friend of mine told me to write a blog about another incident that happened last week, on a wednesday if my memory serves me best. I went to see a comedian called Ed Byrne, i am a fairly big fan, i own one of his dvds and watch alot of his clips on youtube, one of these bits i saw at his show, always the sign of a fanboy.
Now one of the friends i went with (Sean Flannery) had to use the bathroom so he went in and i waited for him. And amazingly enough i saw Ed Byrne! In the flesh! By the lifts. I became star struck, i could not think of a thing to say to him. But when you see a celebrity you don't do nothing do you! So i pointed. Now i know he saw me pointing, but i was also pulling back from pointing when he turned round. Now he lifted his head in acknolwedgment and i bowed my head to acknowledge him. So at least i was acknowledged by Ed Byrne!
Now one of the funny things about this is that in his show he talked about thinking of the best thing to say after the event actually happens. I was walking down Tristram Ave and i thought of a million things i could have said. The obvious one was "hi, i'm oliver. i'm a big fan."
Peace out!
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